Here in Saudi, grocery stores have spice/nuts/dried fruits counters in addition to seafood, bakery, and deli counters. So you'd think it would be easy to get some decent sunflower seeds here. But you'd be wrong.
There are several issues with the local sunflower seeds.
1.) They are too big.
When you grab a handful of these sunflower seeds and pop them into your mouth to enjoy for half an inning, well, that handful you grabbed? Um, that was about five seeds, and it doesn't take too long to crack them open, chew the seeds, and spit out the shells. Then there's only one out in the inning and you are stranded in the third-base coach's box with nothing but dry mouth.
Once when a player was rounding third and I was getting all excited in the coach's box, one of the giant seed halves flew from my mouth and banged into the kid's helmet, and the kid actually went down. It was only a mild concussion, but still. You just don't see that scenario play out in Little League games in other parts of the world.
2.) Saudi seeds are far too brittle. Position a Saudi seed between your upper and lower teeth, gently press down to snap the shell open to release the seed, and KABOOM! All too often, it's shrapnel city all over your tongue. Try spitting that out with any kind of expert zing on a crowded dugout bench. It comes out more like projectile vomit after a meal of toothpicks, and the cool factor of seed chewing is gone, man.
3.) You have to buy them from a guy with whom it is impossible to communicate.
Why won't something that's sold out get quickly restocked? I recently got an answer to this question when, after I could not find the tuna pate my kids like, I asked an employee if there was any tuna pate in the back. The employee said, "Yes!" and quickly walked to the back of the store.
When he returned a couple of minutes later with a stack of tuna pate cans, I laughed. "Why don't you put these out?" I said.
The store employee responded with his own laugh, "If we put all of them out, they will sell out (you dummy)!"
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There are several issues with the local sunflower seeds.
1.) They are too big.
 |
| Foreground: Saudi. Background: Normal. |
When you grab a handful of these sunflower seeds and pop them into your mouth to enjoy for half an inning, well, that handful you grabbed? Um, that was about five seeds, and it doesn't take too long to crack them open, chew the seeds, and spit out the shells. Then there's only one out in the inning and you are stranded in the third-base coach's box with nothing but dry mouth.
Once when a player was rounding third and I was getting all excited in the coach's box, one of the giant seed halves flew from my mouth and banged into the kid's helmet, and the kid actually went down. It was only a mild concussion, but still. You just don't see that scenario play out in Little League games in other parts of the world.
 |
| Coach Matt hits pregame infield to the team with Andrew catching. |
2.) Saudi seeds are far too brittle. Position a Saudi seed between your upper and lower teeth, gently press down to snap the shell open to release the seed, and KABOOM! All too often, it's shrapnel city all over your tongue. Try spitting that out with any kind of expert zing on a crowded dugout bench. It comes out more like projectile vomit after a meal of toothpicks, and the cool factor of seed chewing is gone, man.
 |
| Nick comes in on a ground ball during warmups. |
3.) You have to buy them from a guy with whom it is impossible to communicate.
Many, many, if not most people one encounters in retail establishments here in Saudi, speak English. And the ones who don't, well they understand inflections and gestures just fine. But not the grocery-store nut guy.
The thing is, there are lots of seeds and nuts on display, and some are salted, some are not, some are "lemon salt," etc. Not much is labeled, either, so good luck finding exactly what you want. It once took me ten minutes to find out if the guy had flax seeds, for crying out loud! Oh, the hardships we face here.
4.) If for some reason a good batch of sunflower seeds does come in, they are gone quickly, and they will not be re-stocked for about a year. |
| Shea shows good form on a grounder during pregame warmups. |
Why won't something that's sold out get quickly restocked? I recently got an answer to this question when, after I could not find the tuna pate my kids like, I asked an employee if there was any tuna pate in the back. The employee said, "Yes!" and quickly walked to the back of the store.
When he returned a couple of minutes later with a stack of tuna pate cans, I laughed. "Why don't you put these out?" I said.
The store employee responded with his own laugh, "If we put all of them out, they will sell out (you dummy)!"
 |
| Luke tries to extricate an unfathomably large Saudi sunflower shell. |
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